I would appreciate it if you told me what scenes, specifically, made you uncomfortable. I can understand why the "blond whore" comment would seem incredibly rude, and I apologise, but without knowing what other scenes you disliked or found condescending, there's nothing I can do to improve the writing.
If you found some words/phrasing derogatory or offensive, I am sorry. However, there are some things about a limited 3rd person narrative that demand something less than perfect political correctness. In the above scene, it's Sam's words and phrasing -- and his ire is directed not at the woman working in the brothel, but rather at Castiel. Sam's feelings for Dean, as well as his feelings for Cas, make him extremely jealous and possessive, hence his angry words. This is not supposed to be a commentary on the woman, but rather a reflection of Sam's feelings. It seems that was not what you read into it, and that is unfortunate.
As for the rest...
1. Castiel knows that Dean is not in Heaven. This is why he's angry and bitter, why he's rude to the other angels, and why he's not able to move on from Dean's death. 2. What does that have to do with the dramatic ending of Part One? That has nothing to do with Dean at all. 3. Although Bobby is not mentioned specifically in scenes, that does not mean that he is not being checked in on/cared for. It's hard to determine what to write vs. what to imply, and I'm afraid that writing scenes with Bobby in Part One was not a priority among the other several hundred scenes my co-writer and I wanted to fit into our big bang.
If you do in fact choose to return to the story, please give me more detailed feedback. I'd like to learn your opinion, even if you choose to anonymously leave rude comments instead of constructive criticism.
no subject
I would appreciate it if you told me what scenes, specifically, made you uncomfortable. I can understand why the "blond whore" comment would seem incredibly rude, and I apologise, but without knowing what other scenes you disliked or found condescending, there's nothing I can do to improve the writing.
If you found some words/phrasing derogatory or offensive, I am sorry. However, there are some things about a limited 3rd person narrative that demand something less than perfect political correctness. In the above scene, it's Sam's words and phrasing -- and his ire is directed not at the woman working in the brothel, but rather at Castiel. Sam's feelings for Dean, as well as his feelings for Cas, make him extremely jealous and possessive, hence his angry words. This is not supposed to be a commentary on the woman, but rather a reflection of Sam's feelings. It seems that was not what you read into it, and that is unfortunate.
As for the rest...
1. Castiel knows that Dean is not in Heaven. This is why he's angry and bitter, why he's rude to the other angels, and why he's not able to move on from Dean's death.
2. What does that have to do with the dramatic ending of Part One? That has nothing to do with Dean at all.
3. Although Bobby is not mentioned specifically in scenes, that does not mean that he is not being checked in on/cared for. It's hard to determine what to write vs. what to imply, and I'm afraid that writing scenes with Bobby in Part One was not a priority among the other several hundred scenes my co-writer and I wanted to fit into our big bang.
If you do in fact choose to return to the story, please give me more detailed feedback. I'd like to learn your opinion, even if you choose to anonymously leave rude comments instead of constructive criticism.